This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44727) - you totally deserved it (1979)
On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14655) - you totally deserved it (79221)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52011) - you totally deserved it (32094)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)
Today, I turned 18. Nothing was said at breakfast, but I figured they'd remember and we'd have cake at night. I came home and there was cake, but not for me. My sister got her period for the first time during the day and they were celebrating. Apparently, a vaginal discharge was more important. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86052) - you totally deserved it (2330)
On 04/18/2009 at 4:49am - health - by Legal (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43773) - you totally deserved it (4088)
On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44239) - you totally deserved it (2629)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67956) - you totally deserved it (2178)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (49485) - you totally deserved it (4233)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87418) - you totally deserved it (5324)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend decided to strip me naked and blindfold me, then told me I'd get a reward if I caught her. So I ran around naked and blindfolded till I caught her, and then I yelled, "I want my prize on the kitchen table!" It was her mom who'd just got back from work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64582) - you totally deserved it (20472)
On 03/27/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by pdjordan (man) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48408) - you totally deserved it (3345)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Rai (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60901) - you totally deserved it (5795)
On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (51311) - you totally deserved it (5221)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Marian (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiance that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79080) - you totally deserved it (4768)
On 03/23/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by MID12 (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of only two weeks. As we were dancing, another woman grabbed my ass from behind me and squeezed. I yelped and turned around to see my mother as the culprit. My girlfriend punched her. I found out my mother is a Cougar and my girl has a mean right hook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (133977) - you totally deserved it (7237)
On 03/23/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by VinnyGoombots (man) - United States (New York)
