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Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (6850)
On 06/01/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by 2ndplacechamp - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13863) - you deserved it (5653)
On 05/28/2011 at 1:27am - money - by greenhide8 - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7781) - you deserved it (19492)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (4361)
On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -
Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (2664)
On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24105) - you deserved it (2937)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (1769)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59828) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5940) - you deserved it (44665)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend's mother for the very first time. She walked in on me in the bathroom; I'd completely lost focus and fallen asleep while taking a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9979) - you deserved it (16762)
On 12/24/2010 at 6:49pm - love - by Username - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I got married. Tonight, I received the best orgasm of my life. Not from my husband; from the jacuzzi tub in our honeymoon suite, where he was passed out drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28186) - you deserved it (3526)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20396) - you deserved it (2556)
On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (32912)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6389) - you deserved it (32912)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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