Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sacrosanct2

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

sacrosanct2

8Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4602
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

Visits<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:14pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:56am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:29am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:42pm<b>boating_guy</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:20pm<b>jay_ladybug</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:12pm<b>yus</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:35pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:56am<b>taylorcheri</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:10pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:00am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:59am<b>MCRbae</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 5:30pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:20pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:11am<b>TysonHolgate</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:14am<b>lex1459</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:35am

Liked!<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - yesterday at 6:50pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:03am<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>lkfldal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am

sacrosanct2's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of sacrosanct2's badges

sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20022) - you deserved it (2066)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17986) - you deserved it (1735)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (61204)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7810) - you deserved it (38907)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23025) - you deserved it (4586)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

#20055365
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21045) - you deserved it (1520)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:37am - misc - by Tyler - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23079) - you deserved it (1498)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14874) - you deserved it (38611)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

#20009467
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20036) - you deserved it (2479)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (4896)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (2848)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: