Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sacrosanct2

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

sacrosanct2

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5524
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

Visits<b>delilablue95</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 5:52pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:24pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:45am<b>tulha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 2:20pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:32pm<b>ndjansa</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 12:29am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 12:52am<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 5:57pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:33pm<b>EpicRainbowzz</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:41pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:49am<b>roman11</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:36pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Pablo1321</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:14pm<b>noelsom7</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:56am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:29am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:42pm<b>boating_guy</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:20pm

Fucked!<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:19pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:03am<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>lkfldal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am

sacrosanct2's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of sacrosanct2's badges

sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27887) - you deserved it (7084)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34276) - you deserved it (19364)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22214) - you deserved it (2268)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20484) - you deserved it (1963)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17874) - you deserved it (65150)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

#20104478
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (39976)

On 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm - misc - by didntknowyoucouldbreakit (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (4880)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (4645)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

#20055365
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (1523)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:37am - misc - by Tyler - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (1587)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16729) - you deserved it (41151)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

#20009467
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (2572)

On 08/08/2012 at 12:00pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: