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Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17288) - you deserved it (3871)
On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (22658)
On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (3337)
On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21876) - you deserved it (5907)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22108) - you deserved it (2614)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (1705)
On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15908) - you deserved it (6551)
On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (4317)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34773) - you deserved it (14405)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43147) - you deserved it (11805)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19231) - you deserved it (1534)
On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (4143)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (2214)
On 09/23/2011 at 10:48am - work - by sick of life - United States (New York)
Today, I was at Wal-Mart walking around when I slipped on some water and twisted my ankle. As I was getting up, a man comes up to me and said "There's some water on the floor, watch out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (2207)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by yeahhhhhommmie (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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