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  • Number of visits : 8336
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

Visits<b>Miranda04</b> - yesterday at 3:10pm<b>XxPojoxX</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 2:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 9:26pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 7:30pm<b>platypus546</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:44pm<b>withered</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 6:26am<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 2:55am<b>IAm123</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:51pm<b>nonsensical</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:22pm<b>iJamal</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 6:11am<b>TaquitoPrincess</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:35am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 12:54am<b>mlia_usually</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:13am<b>shanson</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:22pm<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 11:03am<b>Kalyr</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 11:13pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 10:42pm<b>meliabedelia5</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 1:02am

Fucked!<b>platypus546</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 8:44pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 8:55am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 4:42am<b>delilablue95</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 4:52pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:19pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:50pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:03am<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>lkfldal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am

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sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 11:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

by StefanKa / 09/09/2013 at 5:30am / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

by embarrassedmom / 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Kids

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

by fucking financial ruin / 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

by never thought I'd say that / 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Transportation

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

by pong / 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation