Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sacrosanct2

Offline (15 minutes ago) | Search for a member

sacrosanct2

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3011
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

Visits<b>sarah5745</b> - 15 hours ago<b>M_F06_25</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:58pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:09am<b>lkfldal</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:12pm<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:08pm<b>cornyrob</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 4:11am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:01am<b>iJamal</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:03pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:03pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:07pm<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 9:40am<b>sethnixon4102</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:28am<b>Damafia</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:39pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:18am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:03am<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>lkfldal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am

sacrosanct2's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of sacrosanct2's badges

sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

#20756478
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40408) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by thefuck (man) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58649) - you deserved it (22887)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband decided he would rather rage-wank to my mum's Facebook profile picture than make love to me. FML

#20741061
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44982) - you deserved it (4856)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:54pm - love - by talktothefacecausethehandswanking (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68904) - you deserved it (6558)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57384) - you deserved it (4099)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49252) - you deserved it (6458)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (3159)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84921) - you deserved it (8099)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (54182)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50762) - you deserved it (23571)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41015) - you deserved it (3373)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49713) - you deserved it (13522)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML

#20654832
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53290) - you deserved it (5163)

On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50126) - you deserved it (7077)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: