Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sacrosanct2

Offline (54 minutes ago) | Search for a member

sacrosanct2

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3336
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

Visits<b>badmandilon</b> - yesterday at 11:37pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:11am<b>TysonHolgate</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:14am<b>lex1459</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:35am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:33am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:32am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>quickit</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:01pm<b>alexmisty88</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:21am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:18am<b>M_F06_25</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 9:58pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:09am<b>lkfldal</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:22pm<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:12pm<b>SirMiniHobbit</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 5:08pm<b>cornyrob</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:05am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 9:10am<b>morondon000</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:19am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 2:03am<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:02pm<b>lkfldal</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:43am<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:18am

sacrosanct2's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of sacrosanct2's badges

sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49003) - you deserved it (9611)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18757) - you deserved it (5043)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9044) - you deserved it (36594)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

#8743976
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (2367)

On 03/01/2010 at 8:17am - misc - by GuiltByTenuousAssociation (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20131) - you deserved it (4262)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47286) - you deserved it (36972)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML

#7815637
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9489) - you deserved it (28318)

On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34822) - you deserved it (5057)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42328) - you deserved it (11961)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (4910)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (13948)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

#7286498
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26450) - you deserved it (2634)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (6226)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: