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Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9473) - you deserved it (26501)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (2051)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up in a closet of a four star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I am a secondary school teacher and I have been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4am this morning and it's now 1pm in the afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4616) - you deserved it (39631)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Nicholasand (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14771) - you deserved it (23754)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
I agree, your life sucks (25458) - you deserved it (3308)
On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (1988)
On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (29579)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40857) - you deserved it (2980)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19903) - you deserved it (2404)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31444) - you deserved it (2166)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11239) - you deserved it (36026)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93925) - you deserved it (6050)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36924) - you deserved it (7903)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7653) - you deserved it (71553)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16037) - you deserved it (33646)
On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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