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Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7006) - you deserved it (19803)
On 02/02/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by Namnack - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28703) - you deserved it (4476)
On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34067) - you deserved it (9038)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (3723)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (9191)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up at 3am because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (2228)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14833) - you deserved it (4727)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (2953)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I received a phone call from the local utilities company, telling me in essence: "We regret to inform you that your meter was switched, and we have been billing you for an unoccupied unit for the past 15 months. You owe us $1123.28. We apologize for any inconvenience." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (2089)
On 01/05/2010 at 11:32am - money - by MelMayle (woman) - United States
Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26702) - you deserved it (2690)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (27650)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8754) - you deserved it (27650)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5627) - you deserved it (18358)
On 12/11/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (1929)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (2354)
On 12/08/2009 at 7:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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