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Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6168) - you deserved it (21422)
On 11/06/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9454) - you deserved it (25535)
On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7202) - you deserved it (39794)
On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (7586)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10906) - you deserved it (35511)
On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (5951)
On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31603) - you deserved it (7954)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (47965)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (5940)
On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29960) - you deserved it (6764)
On 07/01/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by cooldude (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6805) - you deserved it (28391)
On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41535) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45350) - you deserved it (4595)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (4005)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (26882)
On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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