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sacrosanct2

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sacrosanct2

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3084
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sacrosanct2 : Nothing is sacred

sacrosanct2's page activity

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sacrosanct2's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48821) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15465) - you deserved it (34496)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (5134)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (3339)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you deserved it (5010)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40481) - you deserved it (4652)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42772) - you deserved it (9370) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51440) - you deserved it (21037)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (11506)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47718) - you deserved it (6797)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41486) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)



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