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sabbyheartswhat's favorite FMLs
by mdg41 / 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by bloody_hell / 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy
by drbckflps / 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been months since I dropped out of college to escape constantly being bullied and being miserable. Ever since then, I've been having recurring nightmares with the same people bullying me, after which I wake up crying and feeling miserable. My brain is a douchebag. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2014 at 6:55am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML
by mastel07 / 12/10/2014 at 7:59am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
by fuckered519 / 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
by StomachofTinfoil / 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 5:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm / United States / Work
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML
by Jenniesaurus / 09/04/2014 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML
by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML
by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
- Today, my new guy friend told me that he is madly in love with me. When I suggested "let's give it… Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my… Today, I'm sick. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't leaving for college in three days, and…