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ryttis

Offline (the 06/03/2015 at 5:27am) | Search for a member

ryttis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2579
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ryttis's page activity

Visits<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:07pm<b>trex83</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 2:44pm<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 1:16pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:09am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 4:49am<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 1:07pm

ryttis's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ryttis's badges

ryttis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML

#21322290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39486) - you deserved it (4380)

On 12/22/2014 at 8:28pm - love - by Soulara89 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41613) - you deserved it (2603)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41093) - you deserved it (5294)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36418) - you deserved it (10687)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
68 comments

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

#21285040
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (6678)

On 10/25/2014 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (5872)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53466) - you deserved it (10761)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43274) - you deserved it (7300)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48352) - you deserved it (27452)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63610) - you deserved it (9056)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48983) - you deserved it (5841)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53715) - you deserved it (11765)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)



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