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Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21786)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5728) - you deserved it (845)
On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9541) - you deserved it (2729)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13567) - you deserved it (6304)
On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6173) - you deserved it (1236)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (1255)
On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (2291)
On 03/11/2012 at 8:38am - work - by aprilmay91 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5707) - you deserved it (12662)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4378) - you deserved it (5131)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (2761)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3770) - you deserved it (7763)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3258) - you deserved it (7002)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (3747)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (5701)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:33am - health - by mary (woman) - Australia
Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6501) - you deserved it (959)
On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
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