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Offline (the 12/08/2015 at 12:54am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1202
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About rvontr88 : Everybody's out there trying to be punny, I'm just wondering where I'm going to get my next cup of coffee from...
I'm convinced I'm getting too old for this shit.

rvontr88's page activity

Visits<b>claudiajean</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:55pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 12:47am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 11:42pm<b>samurai1833</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 5:57am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:44am<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:13pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 2:40am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:14pm<b>frankiero</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 7:20pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 6:53pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:15pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 9:47pm<b>itscomplicated15</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:33am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 10:41pm<b>blahblahbullshit</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:47pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:34pm<b>daz18m</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:35pm

Fucked!<b>am1717</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 5:44pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 3:48am<b>daz18m</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:36am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:23am<b>pete9913</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 4:48am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 7:36am<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 2:23pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:34pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 6:31am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:47am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:19am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:14am<b>gracehi</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 3:43am<b>Jaqybear</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:37pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:24pm

rvontr88's FML badges

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rvontr88's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

by alone / 09/23/2011 at 7:04am / China / Love

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

by nipman / 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

by ravenskater / 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm / Kids

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

by uggo / 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

by StinkyDogs / 03/27/2011 at 6:06am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

by birdguts / 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

by turnedintoinsomniac / 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

by disturbed / 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

by Scaryman / 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids