Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rvontr88

Search for a member

rvontr88

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 404
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About rvontr88 : I like falling asleep to Civil War documentaries. Welcome to my FML.

rvontr88's page activity

Visits<b>rpsrascal</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:19am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:21am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:51am<b>olpally</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 2:39am<b>rob02</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 9:10pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:57pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 11:57pm<b>abbbeyS</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 9:42pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 3:27pm<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:23am<b>aaronyetter</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:54pm<b>Deadsmurfwalkin</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:22am<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:27pm<b>jovannylua13</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 9:42am<b>wafflerocket</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:58am<b>mattdwyer</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:22pm<b>CaptFuzzyNippl_2</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 7:33am<b>StarJack</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:32pm

rvontr88's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of rvontr88's badges

rvontr88's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (18958)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36518) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

#15920978
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35581) - you deserved it (3427)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59506) - you deserved it (5865)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (4921)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you deserved it (9873)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

#14779730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (4690)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm - animals - by birdguts (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25698) - you deserved it (2452)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33907) - you deserved it (7630)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56081) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (11405)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36748) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29384) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: