Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rvontr88

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

rvontr88

2Liked!

rvontr88rvontr88
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 498
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About rvontr88 : I like falling asleep to Civil War documentaries.

rvontr88's page activity

Visits<b>mariepastyglue</b> - 10 hours ago<b>WearingHats</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Jaqybear</b> - 17 hours ago<b>843dude</b> - 17 hours ago<b>lemonless</b> - yesterday at 12:01pm<b>letmehaveit</b> - yesterday at 7:10am<b>buenos24</b> - yesterday at 6:08am<b>M3talJunki3</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:00am<b>MDoremis</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:07pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 5:40pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:48pm<b>dblogic</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:44pm<b>hjerte</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:29pm<b>tsommer</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:12am<b>Jigglypuffnutz</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 8:02am<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 7:24am<b>addictionisreal</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:52am<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:11am

Liked!<b>Jaqybear</b> - 11 hours ago<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 2:24pm

rvontr88's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of rvontr88's badges

rvontr88's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (5906)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

#19137014
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8441) - you deserved it (19075)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

#17811701
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (4300)

On 09/23/2011 at 7:04am - love - by alone - China

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

#15920978
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (3556)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by nipman - United States

Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML

#15628215
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59717) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33206) - you deserved it (4968)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28659) - you deserved it (9901)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

#14779730
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (4841)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm - animals - by birdguts (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

#14662747
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (2469)

On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35478) - you deserved it (7813)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (3235)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57716) - you deserved it (12330)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

#13036561
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20345) - you deserved it (11436)

On 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

#9143571
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (3019)

On 03/16/2010 at 9:34pm - misc - by disturbed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (3731)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: