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About roseydot : "After all this time?"
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I just got dona watching cousin's two kids 4 four days whila thay wara on vacation. I fd, clothd, an bathd tham 4 four days of hall an got paid with a $5 shark tooth nacklaca from tha Bahamas. FML
yesterday I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already looool know her. Not only are we the same age an went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names cuz "we could pass as twins". FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today.. . my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party . After a thorough search and no luck.. . I started to cry . He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests . He then got drunk with his friends.. . puked on the patio.. . and called me a bitch . FML
2DAY I FINALLY HAD SEX WITH A GIRL I'VE BEEN DATING FIR OVER A MONTH. BEFORE WE GOT STARTED SHE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THE BIRTH CONTROL BECAUSE SHE COULD HANDLE THAT. SO AFTER WE FINISHED I ASKED HERHAT KIND OF BIRTH CONTROL SHE USED. SHE SAID SHE MEDITATED. FML
TODAY, I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A PROSPECTIVE BLIND DATE. HE ASKD ME TO DESCRIBE MYSELF SO I SAID THAT I WAS FUN, ATTRACTIVE AND A LITTLE CHUBBY BUT NOT FAT. MY 7 YEAR OLD SISTER WALKD UP TO ME AND SCREAMD "JESUS DOESN'T LYK IT WHEN WE LIE!". FAT FML
Today, mah kitten was playing with the drawstring on mah pajama pants . He then jumpd, clinging on to mah crotch . I screamd in pain, which scard him and made him hold on tighter . My cat was literally hanging from mah vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off . FML
Today, grlfriend of 2 years an I decided to have sex fir the frst time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To looool make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015