roseydot

Search for a member

roseydot

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2615
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About roseydot : "After all this time?"


"Always."

roseydot's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 3:43pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:05pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:56pm<b>kieman</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:40am<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 12:13am<b>chadwj</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 9:36pm<b>jessless87</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 1:37pm<b>thelastlucifer</b> - the 07/23/2011 at 6:21am

roseydot's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

roseydot's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned the hard way how easy it is to get on my boss's bad side. We were talking about reality TV shows and I'd mentioned how much I despise Snooki, and how useless to the planet she is. Now I fear for my job. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2011 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 3:07am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

by CatOwner / 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous