About ronnie220 : Take me for who I am, for who I was meant to be!!!
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Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48996) - you deserved it (3788)
On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (8696)
On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States
Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13147) - you deserved it (2596)
On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I repeatedly screamed so loudly and with such emotion at a video game, that my neighbours thought I was in trouble and called the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5192) - you deserved it (17943)
On 04/03/2012 at 7:11am - misc - by thatscreamerguy (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (4865)
On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (2211)
On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16730) - you deserved it (1660)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (3225)
On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19896) - you deserved it (8153)
On 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm - kids - by TiredMom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15068) - you deserved it (1317)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (5185)
On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (3373)
On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (3867)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5904) - you deserved it (52739)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (4083)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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