About ronnie220 : Take me for who I am, for who I was meant to be!!!
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ronnie220's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
by pantydropper / 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 10:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by thatscreamerguy / 04/03/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Geek
Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML
by DanteWest1000 / 04/03/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by retyi43 / 03/24/2012 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Health
by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
by TiredMom / 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
by StickySituations / 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
by LaLa / 01/09/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML
by Derpina / 12/21/2011 at 10:33am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
by lebato97 / 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over…