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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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rodents1000

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rodents1000
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 423
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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rodents1000's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

#6688959 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (1428)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML

#6686658 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (4804) - you deserved it (18381)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

#6522437 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (3216)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (16354) - you deserved it (2429)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (3936)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (5079)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

#6157147 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (5833)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I though it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML

#6132995 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (15800) - you deserved it (23242)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

#5875501 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (28402) - you deserved it (1405)

On 10/18/2009 at 5:28am - health - by nimrod23 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML

#5791962 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (2370)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:22am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (2076)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

#5519699 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

#5332273 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (31026) - you deserved it (2242)

On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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