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rocketturtle98

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rocketturtle98

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 November 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 403
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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rocketturtle98's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 5:22pm<b>GothickNihilist</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:59pm

rocketturtle98's FML badges

50 favourites

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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rocketturtle98's favorite FMLs

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31486) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (13215)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24767) - you deserved it (2800)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (5567)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43324) - you deserved it (4578)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67992) - you deserved it (3781)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (3795)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26043) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34615) - you deserved it (4502)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

#7693033
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (8012)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49428) - you deserved it (3929)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to go to court to see whether my drivers license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML

#7437727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11231) - you deserved it (26545)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by haus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

#7251449
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (1729)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:01am - misc - by zenithbelana (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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