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rocketturtle98

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rocketturtle98

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 8 November 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 462
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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rocketturtle98's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Lisaa</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 5:22pm<b>GothickNihilist</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 11:59pm

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rocketturtle98's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

#20026951
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12143) - you deserved it (22557)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

#20020311
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (3859)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6432) - you deserved it (46783)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19867) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11143) - you deserved it (36410)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (4839)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

#19503572
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (3493)

On 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

#19381776
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (9943)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (2444)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you deserved it (6897)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12069) - you deserved it (55616)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (2796)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (5407)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)



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