About roadie42 : I can make a mean grilled cheese.
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Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (2409)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16003) - you deserved it (1738)
On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (5850)
On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (41130)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7463) - you deserved it (82607)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (4375)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41886) - you deserved it (3028)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6024) - you deserved it (43495)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (8210)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (2337)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38656) - you deserved it (3475)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (39567)
On 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm - health - by psychedout (man) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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