About rjalda100 : Hey I just met you,
Don't think I'm crazy.
My mouth is foaming,
Now you have rabies.
About rjalda100 : Hey I just met you,
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rjalda100's favorite FMLs
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
by r4inb0wbrit3 / 07/13/2012 at 3:37am / United States (Delaware) / Love
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Ashley / 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML
by jillie minaj / 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
by yeastly / 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm / France / Miscellaneous
by momolee / 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Kids
by Dammit / 07/07/2012 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Health
by totallyembarassed / 07/07/2012 at 12:08am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by CanadianTwin / 07/06/2012 at 2:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
by ambushcat / 07/05/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Animals
Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML
by ew / 07/03/2012 at 7:33am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…