About rjalda100 : Hey I just met you,
Don't think I'm crazy.
My mouth is foaming,
Now you have rabies.
About rjalda100 : Hey I just met you,
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rjalda100's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
by raebay / 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
by whatthef / 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to find my face all red and swollen. Turns out it is caused by the medication I’ve been taking for over a week now. Only in very rare cases it will cause redness on your skin. I’m glad to know I’m special. FML
by sexyswollen / 10/24/2009 at 1:14pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML
by abdominates / 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML
by tessykins / 10/22/2009 at 3:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Watchyourstep / 10/20/2009 at 1:11pm / Miscellaneous
by Pwnedofthedead / 10/03/2009 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I got a new computer because my old one crashed, deleting all music, photos, and documents. I still had all my music on my iPod though, and went to sync it to the new computer. By accident, my younger brother pulled the cord out before it was done, deleting all 3,000 songs forever. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by sadinthesack / 08/31/2009 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML
by catlady5569 / 08/27/2009 at 4:13am / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I found my car had been robbed. The thieves stole my GPS, my iPod and my digital camera. While I was filing the police report, the officer recommended I take photos for insurance purposes. Then she remembered my camera had been stolen. She actually started laughing. FML
by CosmicJoke / 08/12/2009 at 10:20am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
by accidentalslut / 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by mandy / 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML
by Tired / 07/13/2009 at 9:25am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…