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rivaraven

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rivaraven
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1361
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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rivaraven's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

#6002557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8498) - you deserved it (35265)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by munchkin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47948) - you deserved it (24211)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62121) - you deserved it (8387)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (3512)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

#5124739
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9200) - you deserved it (38669)

On 09/08/2009 at 10:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

#5072943
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38968) - you deserved it (4887)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

#4891405
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (2500)

On 08/28/2009 at 8:59pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my parents rooted through our house looking for junk to sell at a garage sale. They sold all of my books from my bookshelf. When I freaked, out my mom said 'well you never read them'. There was about $300 hidden between the pages of those books. They made $60. FML

#4854155
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (6944)

On 08/27/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by gonebabygone - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (55354)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61325) - you deserved it (8158)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

#4063087
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38322) - you deserved it (14254)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by Joel_mama (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

#3271801
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53139) - you deserved it (6633)

On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

#3201910
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (8861)

On 06/25/2009 at 10:13am - work - by KN (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (7265)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)



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