About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.
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rivaraven's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML
by ow / 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by WastedTime / 08/07/2010 at 2:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Alisha Marie / 08/04/2010 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML
by toriforever / 07/05/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by ugh / 06/05/2010 at 7:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
by smellsgood / 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I was on a crowded el train listening to my iPod touch. As I stepped off the train, my headphones got caught on a man's jacket and my iPod fell on the floor. The doors shut. I then watched the train pull away. With my iPod on it. FML
by rybread / 02/28/2010 at 7:34pm / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2010 at 2:45am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by brileyyyy / 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals
Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML
by wearashirt / 12/04/2009 at 2:55am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Sub / 12/03/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection… Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than… Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing…