About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.
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rivaraven's favorite FMLs
Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML
by Cass / 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
by kal / 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by michael / 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
by Anonymous / 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
by Help / 11/26/2011 at 1:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML
by metallifreak44 / 11/14/2011 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by unknown / 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals
by thanksfyi / 07/02/2011 at 5:51pm / Norway / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…