Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rivaraven

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

rivaraven

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1834
  • Number of comments : 290
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.

rivaraven's page activity

Visits<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Connerm</b> - 11 hours ago<b>bvgoliday</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:13pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:16am<b>Harpy</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:23pm<b>fobgirl10171</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:24am<b>mmtiki</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Recoveryben</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:16am<b>trktyme16</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:29am<b>shortcake1234567</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:56pm<b>mongirlnumber2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:27am<b>BntyHntrSeattle</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:22pm<b>KatNipped</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:22pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 3:43am<b>Mirakledba</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Alpha21X</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:30pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 9:04pm<b>mt631</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 8:09pm

rivaraven's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of rivaraven's badges

rivaraven's favorite FMLs

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (2404)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (1812)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23985) - you deserved it (4848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (2372)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

#19488464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (2404)

On 04/18/2012 at 2:57am - kids - by ChampionshipVinyl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (1638)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (1638)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (2686)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got the feeling that my phone smelt of cigarettes and B.O. I smelt it, realised that it was my hands that smelt, then got confused and thought maybe it was my nose piercing that smelt. I then realised my psychology class was watching me trying to smell my own nose. FML

#19366702
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6061) - you deserved it (24121)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by Cass - Australia

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9827) - you deserved it (31839)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: