About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.
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rivaraven's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML
by BunniesOnAcid / 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by hypocrite / 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
by ali / 07/03/2012 at 7:51am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm going to court to give an eyewitness account of a robbery. Unfortunately, I had a wacky dream last night concerning the robbery, and no longer have any idea of what actually happened in real life. FML
by Dreamer / 07/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
by needmorelocks / 07/03/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML
by deweyd8855 / 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Work
Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML
by 21! / 07/02/2012 at 9:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML
by thanksdad / 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation
Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 3:23am / Miscellaneous
by plzdontclapme / 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm / Miscellaneous
by say my name / 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm / Intimacy
by ohbiebjetaime / 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm / France / Love
- Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided…