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rivaraven

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rivaraven
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1352
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.

rivaraven's last visitors

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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rivaraven's favorite FMLs

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41862) - you deserved it (7263)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML

#2241699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68565) - you deserved it (3723)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

#2204449
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15754) - you deserved it (49637)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

#2177372
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37041) - you deserved it (10726)

On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML

#2095201
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60801) - you deserved it (3349)

On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

#1930337
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (331275) - you deserved it (15759)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML

#1649042
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (6588)

On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

#1535605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72904) - you deserved it (4579)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

#718937
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124023) - you deserved it (13809)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

#597085
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (79121)

On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116384) - you deserved it (11401)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)



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