About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass. Gay, to top it off. In a happy relationship with my lovely boyfriend of 2 years.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66010) - you deserved it (3548)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14028) - you deserved it (40622)
On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34471) - you deserved it (8736)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57751) - you deserved it (2708)
On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancée, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancée for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (272838) - you deserved it (10293)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tip toed out of the room did I realize that my cell phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (6452)
On 05/04/2009 at 11:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66609) - you deserved it (3620)
On 05/01/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by smartgirl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (153738) - you deserved it (8634)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98084) - you deserved it (3914)
On 04/15/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by I_Hate_Cars - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199466) - you deserved it (58858)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30856) - you deserved it (65564)
On 03/25/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by nomorebeard (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (119774)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: “The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating.” My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (70329) - you deserved it (11258)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461530) - you deserved it (573357)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (278137) - you deserved it (22654)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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