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rivaraven

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rivaraven
  • Town/Country : Auckland, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 January 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1373
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About rivaraven : Friendly yet sarcastic ass.

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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rivaraven's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (1415)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (7472)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

#20016902
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14675) - you deserved it (6717)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm - misc - by kherien (woman) - United States

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (3164)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (2667)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (23730)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31088) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4353) - you deserved it (25687)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (2758)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32994)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States



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