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rickster1000

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 1:25am) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 4938
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (5508)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (3703)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (4959)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (3750)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (3447) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16515) - you deserved it (67231)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37702) - you deserved it (20041)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59591) - you deserved it (13525)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (5581)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32478) - you deserved it (5062)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (55611)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

#21133303
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42391) - you deserved it (2765)

On 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm - kids - by Arthur - United States

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42489) - you deserved it (3451)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43097) - you deserved it (8253)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49706) - you deserved it (18113)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)



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