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rickster1000

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rickster1000
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  • Number of visits : 3292
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32720) - you deserved it (13590)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (7258)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42662) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34758) - you deserved it (38567)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45231) - you deserved it (4550)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43775) - you deserved it (16985)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37169) - you deserved it (3477)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35685) - you deserved it (3122)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51235) - you deserved it (5870)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (5317)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43259) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38545) - you deserved it (7450)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (3400)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36799) - you deserved it (13612)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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