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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 4425
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (11213)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (5070)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML

#21135849
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (50460)

On 05/10/2014 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by vivelawank - United Kingdom

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

#21135508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50015) - you deserved it (3944)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by ColoredPencil13 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date for the first time since my divorce was finalized a year ago. The first question the guy asked me was what my favorite sex position is. FML

#21135207
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45356) - you deserved it (5376)

On 05/09/2014 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by CEO - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (3275)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parents decided to get with the times. So far, they've made me get Snapchat and Instagram accounts, and made me add them on Facebook. They keep acting like annoying teenagers, and get mad at me when I don't play along. For the love of god, somebody save me. FML

#21134960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42619) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anais Strongrump III Jr. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38344) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38988) - you deserved it (2958) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15719) - you deserved it (66057)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (19805)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56949) - you deserved it (11688)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (5108)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (4607)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (54366)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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