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rickster1000

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rickster1000
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  • Number of visits : 3338
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (3243)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, I moved into my new place. It evidently used to belong to a hooker, because although I've only lived here for 9 hours, so far several different men have knocked on my door and asked if "Stephanie" is available for a good time. FML

#20861348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (2700)

On 08/31/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Redbridge)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (6667)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

#20861161
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36991) - you deserved it (2154)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:30am - misc - by Tag (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (5968)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (2453)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (12545)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (2268)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

#20859830
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43157) - you deserved it (2339)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:33am - work - by pizza girl - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

#20859797
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:11am - work - by Parental Support - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55672) - you deserved it (6216)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (38344)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

#20859354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50235) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm - health - by scammed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML



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