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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (4731)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44275) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (45766)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34799) - you deserved it (3815)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39107) - you deserved it (18146)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (8204)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49860) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40680) - you deserved it (8207)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46548) - you deserved it (4264)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54741) - you deserved it (6926)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (54649)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44470) - you deserved it (5393)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49036) - you deserved it (5402)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (67105)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -



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