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rickster1000

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 6:25am) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50649) - you deserved it (3297)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

#20957730
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (14643)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by jack s.b. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (42637)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45954) - you deserved it (12094)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39829) - you deserved it (4716)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42489) - you deserved it (3420)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21382) - you deserved it (44298)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (3801)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

#20952213
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37630) - you deserved it (17479)

On 11/10/2013 at 12:51am - misc - by tramp - United States

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (7882)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49513) - you deserved it (4051)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39356) - you deserved it (8000)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (4109)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54438) - you deserved it (6894)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)



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