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rickster1000

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rickster1000

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  • Number of visits : 6259
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (4001)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

#21030662
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (8306)

On 01/17/2014 at 7:49am - misc - by dylanhollis - United States (Texas)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67594) - you deserved it (4142)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (19934)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64420) - you deserved it (6117)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58466) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56860) - you deserved it (13953)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (5213)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (44600)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49617) - you deserved it (4490)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53307) - you deserved it (11352)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (48586)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53495) - you deserved it (32447)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (39386)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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