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rickster1000

Offline (the 03/22/2015 at 4:17pm) | Search for a member

rickster1000

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rickster1000's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (57462)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45912) - you deserved it (9450)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52393) - you deserved it (8862)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45488) - you deserved it (6952)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51677) - you deserved it (5858)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37423) - you deserved it (6118)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48215) - you deserved it (5350)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (3192)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

#21038371
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42613) - you deserved it (3551)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Profucktardor (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46283) - you deserved it (16772)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44177) - you deserved it (9957)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43366) - you deserved it (14921)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, after I took my first set of exams, my professor posted on Twitter, scoffing at how stupid one student's answer was. The answer he quoted was one that I wrote. FML

#21036248
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (9432)

On 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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