About ricinator : Just trollin'
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (3809)
On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (10764)
On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (14068)
On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (36492)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by BackAndForth (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (1906)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (1746)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while jogging in the park, I saw a man acting strange and trying to talk to 3 little girls. I jogged over to their mother and warned her about a 'weirdo' lurking around her daughters. Turns out that 'weirdo' is the woman's disabled brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (12792)
On 10/15/2011 at 9:13pm - misc - by cristina_laila (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (3446)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (2615)
On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29356) - you deserved it (5602)
On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2265)
On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (7888)
On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (1455)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by francesa_loca - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (1924)
On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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