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ricepattylover

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ricepattylover

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  • Number of visits : 73
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ricepattylover's page activity

Visits<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 10:54am

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ricepattylover's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35240) - you deserved it (4430)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML

#6378633
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (17063)

On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML

#6198719
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (5613)

On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38244) - you deserved it (3862)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML

#4031400
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70663) - you deserved it (8590)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118234) - you deserved it (6571)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

#2308066
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71049) - you deserved it (18432)

On 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm - intimacy - by alexis89 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470273) - you deserved it (29098)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally bought the toy my two year old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I give him the present, and he starts playing with the bag. FML

#907158
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (8911)

On 04/10/2009 at 8:37pm - kids - by Bob (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
923 comments

I agree, your life sucks (344208) - you deserved it (38471)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (643960) - you deserved it (434663)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470642) - you deserved it (45705)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)



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