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ricepattylover

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ricepattylover

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  • Number of visits : 65
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ricepattylover's page activity

Visits<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 10:54am

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ricepattylover's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

#20199046
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11222) - you deserved it (38056)

On 12/10/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was chatting to a friend on Facebook about girls, and why we're single. We somehow ended up admitting to one another that we'd never get girlfriends, finding out that we both like hentai porn, and trading info on Japanese sex toys. FML

#20196663
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8479) - you deserved it (27214)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:52pm - love - by XxtentaculonxX - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34496) - you deserved it (3983)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11862) - you deserved it (27956)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (6110)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32625) - you deserved it (3395)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41814) - you deserved it (6601)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

#18681564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26342) - you deserved it (7810)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

#18381890
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (1937)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)

Today, after using the bar of soap in the shower to wash my face, I looked down and noticed it was covered in my husband's pubes. FML

#17620959
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (10111)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by Nasty (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss called me Ashley. My name doesn't even start with an A. I even wear a name tag. You would think after nearly four years, your boss would remember your name. Every time he speaks to me, it's a different name. FML

#14793014
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (3599)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:56am - misc - by LynzG -

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

#13496277
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (7536)

On 10/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by obsceene - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32312) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (38828)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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