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ricepattylover

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ricepattylover

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  • Number of visits : 172
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ricepattylover's page activity

Visits<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 10:54am

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ricepattylover's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving mah guy a blowjob. When he blurtd out, "Oh Jesus" I assumd I was doing a good job. I lookd up to see the expression on his face an noticd a look of terror. He looool was staring at mah growling cat, two second away from clawing his face off. big fat FML

#20514475
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (5555)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I was at a club wen a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind wit im. Hoping 4 some backup, I coolly said, "You'll ave to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yea, man, I don't care." looool FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (7744)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today.. . I mat my mothar's daaply raligious fiancé for tha first tima . His rasponsa upon saaing ma was to look ma squara in tha aya and say.. . ( You'll naad to taka out that nosa stud or I'm afraid you'll not ba walcoma in our homa . ) FML

#20513141
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (4088)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walkad into my dad straigtaning my dog's fur . His axcusa? Ta dog naadad to faal pratty . FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, cuz my husband thinks "expiration dates r 4 pussies." FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went shopping with mah two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him mah ( boobies ). A man cummed up to us and said I should do what mah nephew wanted. FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML

#20510302
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38832) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (6008)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me . It ended up bieng so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of there breadsticks . FML

#20508270
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40049) - you deserved it (9638)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assurd her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and muggd me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE FOUND OUT MAH BIRTHDAY IS THE SAME DAY AS HIS, AN HE THINKS WE R TWINS WHO WERE SEPARATD AT BIRTH. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41616) - you deserved it (3183)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

yesterday I had to use a public bathroom . I have problems goinghen other people r there, so I waited until everyone left . Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and looool throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive . This continued 4 half an hour . FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (5691)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my very frst yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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