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resshead

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resshead

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  • Number of visits : 2421
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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resshead's page activity

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resshead's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

resshead's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29220) - you deserved it (4901)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (48142)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32766) - you deserved it (9213)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (2927)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

#17867574
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (2130)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML

#17862319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (2000)

On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11916) - you deserved it (31039)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom called me a bastard, told me I should run away, and said I don't deserve to live in her house. All because I didn't use a plate when I ate a Poptart. FML

#17832717
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (3843)

On 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by sadkid - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (5444)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (4189)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23418) - you deserved it (3172)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies. I was seated next to a woman who talked through the film and said: "Awwww" every time she saw a primate. I went to see 'Rise of Planet of the Apes'. FML

#17527301
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2705)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by RensM (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (4647)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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