resshead

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resshead

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4524
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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resshead's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:46pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:05am<b>epicgamer</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:00pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:07pm<b>AnxietyQueen</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:55pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:45pm<b>slushey</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:48pm<b>mrseppski18</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24am<b>tynudy123</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:56am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:17am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:38pm<b>kino22x</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:24pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:52pm<b>zimmerman8297</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:02pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:32pm<b>fbethslife</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:38am

resshead's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

resshead's favorite FMLs

Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to yet again tell my mother-in-law that I wasn't going to name my unborn baby "Ermintrude" after her late mother. My husband told me to stop being difficult, and that he agrees that it would be nice. FML

by futuremum / 03/22/2012 at 1:14pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

by anonymous / 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Love

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

by jarv49 / 03/16/2012 at 1:24pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

by muzikmaler91 / 03/15/2012 at 5:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

by BBFreak97 / 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

by Janitor / 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

by Alfie4 / 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 7:59pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous