resshead

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resshead

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4533
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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resshead's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:46pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:05am<b>epicgamer</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:00pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:07pm<b>AnxietyQueen</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:55pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:45pm<b>slushey</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:48pm<b>mrseppski18</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24am<b>tynudy123</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:56am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:17am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:38pm<b>kino22x</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:24pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:52pm<b>zimmerman8297</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:02pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:32pm<b>fbethslife</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:38am

resshead's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

resshead's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

by ajnmegs / 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

by keyless / 04/14/2012 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

by Tanner / 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

by Lionman / 04/05/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

by Telemarket / 04/04/2012 at 6:58am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous