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resshead

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resshead

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  • Number of visits : 2742
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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resshead's page activity

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resshead's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

resshead's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20948) - you deserved it (5128)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9329) - you deserved it (17889)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (3604)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

#19466099
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (1783)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by keyless (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13355) - you deserved it (54620) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (1875)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (4701)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25399) - you deserved it (9469)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2269)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12611) - you deserved it (29644)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (1909)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

#19392856
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25485) - you deserved it (1988)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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