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resshead

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resshead

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  • Number of visits : 2705
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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resshead's page activity

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resshead's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

resshead's favorite FMLs

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10723) - you deserved it (26563)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you deserved it (3871)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (2790)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25886) - you deserved it (3225)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

#19742769
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (2570)

On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25127) - you deserved it (2772)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

#19715534
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21245) - you deserved it (1724)

On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

#19714803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (4186)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:24am - love - by Silent (man) - Singapore

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

#19696168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (1881)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by notnicefools - United States (California)

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

#19693767
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (4920)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Danny (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25093) - you deserved it (4082)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (4021)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (2291)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17708) - you deserved it (3293)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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