resshead

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resshead

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5377
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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resshead's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 5:08pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 12:46pm<b>obewonstrangeone</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:05am<b>epicgamer</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:00pm<b>junjunbun</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 5:07pm<b>AnxietyQueen</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 12:55pm<b>yorkie_16</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:42pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:45pm<b>slushey</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 4:48pm<b>mrseppski18</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 1:24am<b>tynudy123</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:56am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 9:17am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 4:38pm<b>kino22x</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:24pm<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 7:52pm<b>zimmerman8297</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:02pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:32pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 11:08pm

resshead's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

resshead's favorite FMLs

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

by idontgetit / 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

by beautyschool22 / 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

by BrianTheLion89 / 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

by facepalm / 06/06/2012 at 4:06am / United States (California) / Love

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

by must.not.itch. / 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

by Briscuit / 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

by Ashe / 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

by Silent / 06/01/2012 at 10:24am / Singapore / Love

Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML

by notnicefools / 05/28/2012 at 10:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

by Danny / 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

by boblaj / 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love