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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (1653)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (1527)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (1589)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (1388)
On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (1404)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23863) - you deserved it (2632)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was called into my first day of work as a cashier. Not even 30 minutes into training, my boss had already "accidentally" touched my ass 7 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (1622)
On 07/05/2012 at 10:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (2175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19423) - you deserved it (2236)
On 06/20/2012 at 8:46am - work - by notanidiot - United States (Michigan)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18578) - you deserved it (10413)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14432) - you deserved it (1432)
On 06/18/2012 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by raraisbang - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16764) - you deserved it (1327)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21498) - you deserved it (5714)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8098) - you deserved it (20874)
On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (3291)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Monday 17 June 2013
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