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About reganmckeownmunn : 17 years old :) always happy and non-judgemental :)
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Today, I proposd to mah girlfriend. She askd if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw mah dumbfoundd face, then playd it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd postd on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML
Today, mah cockgoblin of an ex showed up at mah house, begging me to take him back . This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me looool into sleeping with him after he "escaped" . When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch . FML
Today,hile on an escalator, instead of just telling me underwear label was hanging out of jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself!! You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack!! FML
today I saw a coin on the ground!! As I bent over to pick it up..!! some dude cummed up from behind..!! grabbed my waist and humped me three times!! He ran away before I could get a good look at his face!! FML
Today, I summoned the courage to call mah abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't u go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. mega FML
TODAY, I WENT TO A PAINTBALL MATCH WITH A GROUP OF FRIENDS, ONE OF WHOM BROUGHT HIS DAD ALONG. HIS DAD IS A WIEGHT-LIFTING, WANNABE ALPHA MALE FUCKNUT WHO THINKS THAT CHOKESLAMMING OPPONENTS IS A LEGITIMATE CLOSE-QUARTERS PAINTBALL TACTIC. MY BROKEN SHOULDER DISAGREES. FML
TODAY, I WAS TAKING MAH DOG FIR A WALK AN FORGOT A BAG TO PICK UP HIS POOP, SINCE IT'S ILLEGAL TO NOT PICK IT UP IN MAH TOWN. RIGHT AS MAH DOG STARTED TO TAKE A DUMP, A COP CAR DROVE BY AN CONTINUED TO WATCH ME AS I WAS FORCED TO PICK UP THE POOP WITH MAH BARE HANDS. FML
Today, I was at mah class's band concert . Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a grl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen . I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind . ) FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she looool had to fake an orgasm. FML
today as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with mah girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on,hile poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today... I tried role playing wit ma boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie... I announced... "I'm Natalia... a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian an yur cock." He lauged so ard e practically pissed imself. Te nigt ended in me doing is laundry. Alone.
Friday 27 March 2015