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reapfml
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11303
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195501) - you deserved it (18851)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132403) - you deserved it (4960)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132155) - you deserved it (8036)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131492) - you deserved it (35672)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164133) - you deserved it (32118)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (197400) - you deserved it (31314)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (126342) - you deserved it (9639)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240613) - you deserved it (36564)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

#241077
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55034) - you deserved it (2293)

On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

#233372
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60605) - you deserved it (15313)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

#232169
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64941) - you deserved it (5817)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by ladeda (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (451732) - you deserved it (32008)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my birthday. I set up a dinner party for 20 of my closest friends. I arrived at the restaurant, fully dressed and everything. When I got there, I thought everyone was ready to surprise me, but instead, nobody showed up. FML

#214993
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85729) - you deserved it (5357)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:24am - misc - by STUPID BIRTHDAY (man) - United States



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