reapfml

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reapfml

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15326
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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reapfml's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 6:47pm<b>roman11</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 12:00pm<b>terrorwatt</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:42am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:50am<b>tash901</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Pizzapiggy1</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:57pm<b>Steph_mmarie</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:55pm<b>kbbttt</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:08am<b>sashakotlik</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:15pm<b>midpri1213</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 3:18am<b>screw_this88</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Muxt</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:24am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:13pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:29pm<b>haze1010</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:57am<b>Fleurilia</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 11:32pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:12pm

reapfml's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

reapfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

by chuchie / 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

by TSampson / 06/11/2009 at 7:51am / United States (Georgia) / Money

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years proposed to me. I wasn't expecting anything too romantic, but I would have liked something more than an email from Facebook, requesting my confirmation that we were engaged. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2009 at 6:41am / Singapore / Love

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

by ExtemelyBroke / 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Money

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

by Unluggee / 06/04/2009 at 6:38am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

by guamfml / 06/02/2009 at 8:10pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

by ThanksMom / 06/02/2009 at 8:06am / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I received a list of employee names who were losing their jobs and I had to remove them from the system as I work for IT. I was on the list. That's right. My last responsibility as an employee was removing myself from the system for security reasons. FML

by IT_4_Hire / 05/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

by Jopes / 05/10/2009 at 8:44am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy